Thursday, October 20, 2011

this is still really rough and I haven't finished incorporating every ones feedback i still need to get my spelling and punctuation check I think I'm going to cut out the i want list at the bottom and instead try to incorporate more ideas i might cut out the part about the red light district it just happened to some friends of mine but it's kind of not Rexburg bubble language appropriate I think i need to go back to my three points Craig liked i kind of went all over the place


 

travel study reasons why they should let me come my grades aren't good so that can't be one of the reasons this is supposed to be a letter of intent and i have no idea what that is supposed to look like note this letter is due the 22 of October

I want to be one of those teachers who has something different to teach.

I want my classroom to be full of art and books, Not cheesy inspirational posters that don't make sense to 10 year olds . I really want to have a better perspective of the world so that when i teach i will understand what I am talking about. As a schoolteacher, i will not have many opportunities in my life to travel and this humanities study is my best chance.

I think seeing the world would be good for me. So that I will be able to share with children what I have experienced . For the rest of my life I will be able to give insight to children on what it is like to be a visitor in a different culture. I will be able to share my love of art on a deeper level than textbooks or others stories second hand they will hear my story from me. Right now most of my favorite paintings are so popular everyone In the world has seen a copy of them. I need to expand my knowledge of art so that I have a greater breadth of understanding . I have been to all the museums i can here and i just want to see more. Last time I went to the Portland art museum I realized I had been there for times and at my current level of understanding and knowledge of history I couldn't learn any more from there. I love drawing pictures based on my favorite paintings since I am not a genius and cannot compose a masterpiece myself. I have done my own starry night and water lilies renditions and I want to do more i want to see more I want to be inspired. In addition, i want to be able to inspire generations of children. I was inspired by many teachers of mine who taught me to expand my horizons I want to expand horizons for others . In order for me to do so I have to expand my own life . Experiences I would have on this travel study program would truly expand my life .

Being a language minority in a foreign country . Learning to ride public transportation across a city. Understanding and learning to love other places. Right now in my life my opinion of the world is very biased my favorite palaces are my home in Corvallis Oregon and Kauai in Hawaii and my grandma house in California . you can only love where you have been . I am obsessed with beautiful things in nature and art is where I find things that make me happy. I have taken millions of photos of beautiful flowers. I am a dreamer who needs aesthetics in my life. I fill that this is the safest and most affordable opportunity I can have to see Europe .

This group of positive and spiritual people will be a great leaning environment . I do not want to save my whole life to go on a trip to Europe and have my money wasted because the red light district is included in my tour how messed up is that. I want to have a positive spiritual experience not a negative one . I don't want to go to Europe as a tourist it would still be fun but not as worthwhile as going with the learning model to help me as go through my travels.


 


 


 


 

My reasons for study humanities in Europe are

I love art and museums I and i feel like there's so much more out there that I want to see most of all the water willies in the round I am still not sure what

To say this is an incredible experience that i have always wanted and this could be my only chance


 


 

I want to go to London's national gallery

I want to see Venice

In addition, I want to go to an opera

I would love to see Monet's garden

I really want to see les mis it's a great musical if you have not picked one yet

I want to see the globe theater

I would love to go see a play there

I want to do things like ride the metro and a train I have never ridden a real train the Portland max does not count

I really want to ride on a gondola except I'm not sure whether or not were stopping in Venice


 


 

I want to see van Gogh's sunflowers or the almond branches or starry night an Iris and haystacks

I want to see the muse de orsay and the louve

I want to learn more about art and architecture I want to see chartes and the inside of versigh

ok so i really am hitting my head against the wall mom all i can think of is that chipmunks movie that goes I'm off to see the world I'm off to find my dreams


 


 

So let us see I want to see palaces castles and paintings

I never really got over my princess phase I just became interested in real historical ones I love stories about people from history but princess are still my favorite So I would love to see somebodies crown jewels


 


 

I have already been to the legion of honor in san fransico and the de young and the musem in portland


 

I think that this trip is going to Florence London Paris Vienna Rome and somewhere in Germany


 


 


 


 

- Show quoted text -

On Wed, Oct 19, 2011 at 4:23 PM, Cathy Pattee <dpcpap@gmail.com> wrote:


 

Hey Michelle,


 

Craig has some good points - especially focus on how this experience will make you the person you want to become so you can inspire, educate others etc. Also, he is right - lead with your heart and your eye-be yourself.


 

Scott also has a good point. Never say anything negative about yourself in a job or program application.


 

I would add how you want to learn about cultures- how other people live, broaden your horizons, experience new things.


 

I would talk about how responsible you are. They want people with a high gpa not because they care that you are smart, but because they don't want to bring people who will misbehave. They don't want to deal with someone who doesn't follow the rules or won't do the work. You need to show in your letter that you are a dedicated person who will be completely engaged in all parts of the program.


 

Talk with more passion about why you love the arts, how they make you feel, how you want to share that with others.


 

Work on it some more and send another draft. I want to see the next version :)


 

~C


 


 


 


 


 

On Wed, Oct 19, 2011 at 12:49 PM, Craig Brown <craig@craig.net> wrote:


 

Michelle,


 

I have five points:


 

1. Go back to the place you bought your spell-checker and get your money back. I love you but you spell like your Aunt Cyndi.

2. Punctuation: You punctuate like.....hmmm..... you actually don't punctuate at all....aw to hell with punctuation anyway - never liked it.

3. Your note reveals your strengths. Your email is in three distinct sections. Lesser people make a list or an outline. You, on the other hand, divided the sections into boldface followed by centered lines followed by left justified - your strength is clearly in your artistic eye and your passionate heart, princess. You are more artist and dreamer than anything else and that is how we like you - lead with it. Always lead with your heart and your eye - you won't go wrong.

4. This is all about YOU and that is wrong - look at all the "I" words in that second section. I think you are trying to talk about how sending you to Europe will organically spread the entire experience to your future students - what a great service to humanity and what a great bang for the program's buck. Get rid of the "I" voice and talk about those who will be served rather than what you want.

5. I am almost half a century old and have never been and may never go to Europe.... take some pictures for me.


 

I love you,


 

Uncle Craig


 


 


 


 

From: Michelle Walker [mailto:niniancat@gmail.com]

Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2011 12:14 PM

To: Ann Brown; Nathan E; Cathy Pattee; Cynthia Brown; Craig; Heber Brown; Laurie Walker; Todd Walker; Scott Walker; Camille Walker

Subject: why should i go on a travel study accepting all ideas on how to say please please let me come in a better way


 


 

travel study reasons why they should let me come my grades arent good so that cant be one of thre reasons this is sopused to be a letter of intent and i have no idea what tht is sopoused to look like note this letter is due the 22 of oct

I want to be one of those teachers who has something different to teach

. I want my classroom to be full of art and books. I really want to have a better perspective of the world so that when i teach i will understand what I am talking about. As schoolteacher, i will not have many opportunities in my life to travel and this humanities study is my best chance.

I think seeing the world would be good for me to share with children for the rest of my life. I have been to all the museums i can here and i just want to see more. I love drawing pictures based on my favorite paintings since I am not a genius and cannot compose a masterpiece myself. I have done my own starry night and water lilies renditions and I want to do more i want to see more I want to be inspired. In addition, i want to be able to inspire generations of children. I spend too much time worrying that I am not going to be a good teacher


 


 


 


 

My reasons for study humanities in Europe are

I love art and museums I and i feel like there's so much more out there that I want to see most of all the water willies in the round I am still not sure what

To say this is an incredible experience that i have always wanted and this could be my only chance


 


 

I want to go to London's national gallery

I want to see Venice

In addition, I want to go to an opera

I would love to see Monet's garden

I really want to see les mis it's a great musical if you have not picked one yet

I want to see the globe theater

I would love to go see a play there

I want to do things like ride the metro and a train I have never ridden a real train the Portland max doesn't count

I really want to ride on a gondola except I'm not sure whether or not were stopping in Venice


 


 

I want to see van Gogh's sunflowers or the almond branches or starry night an Iris and haystacks

I want to see the muse de orsay and the louve

I want to learn more about art and architecture I want to see chartes and the inside of versigh

ok so i really am hitting my head against the wall mom all i can think of is that chipmunks movie that goes I'm off to see the world I'm off to find my dreams


 


 

So let us see I want to see palaces castles and paintings

I never really got over my princess phase I just became interested in real historical ones I love stories about people from history but princess are still my favorite So I would love to see somebodies crown jewels


 


 

I have already been to the legion of honor in san fransico and the de young and the musem in portland


 

I think that this trip is going to Florence London Paris Vienna Rome and some where in Germany


 


 

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